When Daddy cooks dinnner....

Recently, Brandon has been promoted to the homicide division and as a family, we are ecstatic. Not only can he revel in the amazing quantity of fluids released from the human body upon death, he's home more frequently in the evenings than he's been in the last four years. These new and exciting encounters lend to new and exciting forays into our kitchen where he is able to make messes that he cannot conceal from me as I am still awake and able to hear his colorful language as he drops tomorrow's dinner onto the floor. Since tomorrow's dinner would have been Mamba's great delight and is now trash-bound, Daddy is now in charge of dinner. This means one of a few possible options. Option one: Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwiches. This option is likely should Daddy have paid bills immediately prior to "cooking" dinner and has the wild-eyes and twitching hands of a man close to the edge. Option two: Pizza from Domino's. This option is more plausible as Daddy only needs to place the order online, sign the pizza delivery slip, and summon all to the table. Plus, this option does not involve Daddy needing to enter the kitchen at all except to fetch napkins and milk.

Pizza it is!

In addition, to Brandon expanding his culinary repertoire, he being home more often means that Drew is finally being schooled in the many areas that Mommy is simply not qualified to teach. For example in this day alone, Drew learned:


How to punch or slap someone without hurting yourself but never to punch or slap your friends.


What music is awesome (Garth Brooks) versus the music Mommy has let him hear (Glee).


How to use as many glasses as possible in the shortest time period possible.

Needless to say, today has been quite the day of enlightenment.

Savannah continues to entertain us with her interpretation of a starving orphan cramming as many cookies or crackers as feasibly possible into her mouth at once. This impression is only entertaining as long as she is able to restrain the urge to vomit at which point, she looks rather surprised despite it having happened MULTIPLE TIMES NOW. Abby wanders around the room, punctuating the conversation with her newest verbal accomplishment, "Uh-oh."

An example:
"Abby, what are you doing with sister's blanket?"
"Uh-oh."
"Abby, who are you calling on the murder phone?"
"Uh-oh."
"Abby! Take your hand out of that cookie box!"
"Uh-oh."
(Yes, she shouldn't be able to reach the box but we're severely outnumbered and outgunned here and Mommy and Daddy need those cookies to be easily accessible....for us.)