Exhaustion versus Intelligence

One of the joys of children, as all parents know, is the morning wake-up call. Whether it be the dulcet tones of your child calling your name or the shriek of dismay at realizing that Mommy did induce sleep, it is a memory that lasts at least until the first cup of hot chocolate or coffee if you are Daddy. If you are Drew's parents, it involves the slowly stirring realization that you are being watched and breathed on from a half-inch away and if you don't wake out of your peaceful sleep, issuing some graceful expletive, you jump backwards at the stage whisper, clobbering your spouse in the face so he might also enjoy this slightly creepy experience.

"Mom"

"Mmmmmmmm," as I mutter into my pillow.

"Mom..Mom...Mom...Mom...Mom!"

"What????!!!!"

"Is it wake-up time?"

At this point, I crack open an eye to see if he is correct and it is "wake-up time." The blurry blinking light says 5:53. Resisting the urge to maim the only heir to the Ludwig name, I roll over and face Drew, lovingly glaring through bleary eyes.

"Drew."

"Yes, Mom?"

"Go...back...to....bed." I drawl each word for emphasis and bury my face back into the pillow.

"But MOM, you said at six zero zero, it was wake-up time!"

Obviously, telling time is the next skill to be addressed.

"No, Mommy said I would come and get you at wake-up time, remember? Now go back to bed."

"But, Mom, I'm not tired!!" (This is issued despite the huge circles underneath his eyes.)

I groan, "Drew, I'm going to the bathroom. When I get out, you're going back to bed, okay?"

"Mom, can I lay in your spot while you're in the bathroom?"

I consent, more out of exhaustion than intelligence and get up. Three minutes later, I emerge from the bathroom to find him snoring quietly, sprawled out across my side of the bed. I stare for a moment and go to the guest room. It is bed thievery in action and this is the real reason for a guest room bed; otherwise you people would sleep on the floor when you come to visit.

Luckily for him, he's really cute.